The great thing about having a good family is that no matter how alone you feel, whether it's because of romantic relationships (or lack-there-of) or friendships gone awry, you've always got someone to be there with. You've got people who are always going to be there. And the great thing about having a sister is knowing that I've always got at least one friend, no matter how tough times can get. I've always got someone around to hang out with. Plus my dog Ty. He may only be just a dog to everyone else, but to me he is one of my best friends. He doesn't judge, isn't mean, always is excited to see me and loves me unconditionally. I will admit, I do take my family for granted like more than half the time, but I hope they know they will always be the most important things in my life. Additionally, I'd like to take this opportunity to tell everyone in my life that I care about that I love them and I'm very grateful to know them. I don't ever say it enough to the people that matter.

I hate winter, my seasonal depression has seemed to have gotten the best of me here lately. I've been pretty sad the last few days, and I've really missed Johnny the last couple of nights. I just keep wondering when I'm going to move on; in February it'll be a year since we've ended things. And let me tell you, it's the absolute worst not being able to be with the one you love, and for them to be off with someone else, never to be heard from again. But you know, no matter how bad I feel about that, no matter how uncertain and scared I am of other life issues, I have good days too. And on those good days I'm glad I can take time to realize that my life could be a lot worse. I never claim to have a shitty life ever, but it may come off like I'm saying that. I'm just heartbroken and unsure about a lot of things right now. Going through a huge rough patch if you will. And yes, I get very sad sometimes, and sometimes it's hard to even get out of bed. But I do know that my life is filled with wonderful people, and I will continue to meet wonderful people and have amazing experiences. There's still so much of the world I haven't seen, so many people I have yet to meet. I'll always love him, but I'm ready to get out there in that world and start living.

Although I don't believe it, I honestly hope that everything happens for a reason. I hope there is a reason why I'm unhappy right now. I hope there's a reason for everything I've ever done, that has ever been done to me, and that has happened as a result of both. I hope good things are on the way for me. I just need to find the patience to wait for them.