Party tonight at Alan's, it was a lot of fun. I missed Lindsey, and my other friends. I never feel better than when I'm surrounded by all of the people I know and love. Some people were hard to read tonight, as always. I wonder if this is going to continue forever. Someone also stole my phone, which is mind-boggling to me. It's seriously such a piece of shit I don't even know why anyone would want it. It has all my numbers in it though, which is a pain in the ass because now I'll have to attain everyone's and then proceed to program them in. So tomorrow I'm going to get a new one and I'll need everyone's numbers. Not that anyone reads this but a select few, I'm just talking here.

I was reading old conversations from people I've saved over the last two years. God, I can't believe it's been two years. It doesn't feel like it should be. I never feel 20, and I never believe it's 2008. I feel like I'm so much different from when I dated Johnny, and I am. I'm more mature. I think if our relationship had started now without all of the complicated shit on both ends (which incidentally ruined everything for us) we would have worked. But the odds were against us, without a doubt. And it honestly really sucks it had to end the way it did, and it sucks the way it is now. I just can't continue caring about this anymore. It's too painful, too emotionally draining and a waste of my time.

And this new person I'm interested in, the first person I've been truly interested in since I've somewhat emerged from this horrible train wreck of a breakup, is so complicated and hard to read, I don't even know what to do with that. I know I need to do something though, and soon. Before the year is over, no doubt.

andwithxthisgun (4:45:01 AM): are you at home now
drwilymd2 (4:45:17 AM): yeah
drwilymd2 (4:45:21 AM): poutin
andwithxthisgun (4:45:26 AM): hahaha LIKEWISE
andwithxthisgun (4:45:29 AM): goddamn life sux

I'm thankful...

For the year coming to an abrupt end. That is what I'm thankful for.


Don't waste my time
This is it
This is really happening

Goodbye to Spring
And all it meant to me
It could never bring
The things that used to be
For I must have you, or no one
That's why I'm through with love

Best albums of 2008

It's about that time of year again. These are in no particular order, just the ones that come to my mind.

Attack & Release - The Black Keys
They have sort of a southern rock sound, and I was very surprised by this band. I hadn't heard them until this summer, but they are seriously awesome. This was a great album if you like southern indie rock.

Conor Oberst - Conor Oberst
Self titled album by just Conor, not with Bright Eyes. He is such a good songwriter and I'll continue to respect him for that. He may not be my all time favorite artist, but he is definitely one of my all time favorite songwriters. There are some really great tracks on this album.

Narrow Stairs - Death Cab For Cutie
Possibly my favorite album of this year. They never disappoint. Every album is like gold. I don't think you could ever sit here and say they've made a bad album, and that's impressive for a band who's had six albums and has been around since 1997. Most bands make at least one or two not so great albums. But it's probably because Ben Gibbard is amazing, has a great voice, and can write one hell of a song and tune. No one sounds like Death Cab as much as they might want to. No one ever will. They really are great.

The Second Gleam - The Avett Brothers
These guys are so awesome. I saw them live at Bonnaroo and then in Somerset, KY over the summer and they are so full of energy and passion. They have a great sound, a great love for what they do, great music, and great intentions, and that all comes forward in their performances. This album's best song for me was "Murder In The City", and if you've never heard it, at least listen once. It's awesome.

Way To Normal - Ben Folds
Haha man, Ben Folds is so cool. Saw him for the first time at Bonnaroo and he was so much fun. In my top 5 favorite performances of all time by any band or artist. I haven't listened to much of this, but I can already tell it's good. Anything by Ben is good, he is a phenomenal pianist.

Cardinology - Ryan Adams
God, I could not love Ryan Adams more right now. He is the best thing I've come across in a long long time. This album, although not his best, is still fucking awesome. Get this album. I don't really need to say much, because everyone knows how brilliant this man is.

Something For All Of Us... - Brendan Canning
Brendan Canning is one of the co-founders of Broken Social Scene, one of my favorite bands of all time. They are so badass. They have like 17 members at all times, and each member has either contributed to Broken Social and/or has solo stuff that really rocks. This album was really good, I liked it a lot.

Evil Urges - My Morning Jacket
Favorite band, hands down. Haunting, mysterious, sentimental, rock and roll is how I would describe them. This album is nothing short of great. Best band to come out of Kentucky ever. I'm proud to say I'm from the state they are.

Feed The Animals - Girl Talk
I really enjoy Gregg Gillis as of late. Not much to say about him, Girl Talk is all the craze so everyone knows what's up. Definitely best dance party tunes ever created.

The Stand Ins - Okkervil River
I haven't heard this entire album yet, but Okkervil River is definitely good. I just discovered them last year, and I sometimes wonder what took me so long.

Baby, there's just one thing
One thing that does it, does it for me
Baby, we'll find a way
We'll go out, out for a day
And I want it so bad
It's the first thing I see when I wake
So bad, it's the first thing I see when I wake

When I'm bored surfing the internet, I'll ocassionally read the stuff I write in here. I have to say it's some of the most depressing, profound, utterly ridiculous stuff I've ever seen. I guess that is the journalist in me, to write and write and write and write some more. No one reads this anyway. Why do I even bother?

Why can't I just get happy already?

I'm not used to this feeling anymore. Sometimes I don't know what to do with myself.

Do I extinguish this before it gets out of control, or do I keep fueling the fire?

Why do people insist on not being upfront about stuff? Do they think others can't handle the truth? Just let your intentions be known. Don't avoid telling people what you really think and feel. Just say it to them.

Election

You know, everyone has their beliefs. Every single person is set in their ways, so it's pointless to try to change minds. But I've listened to the dumbass remarks of my anti-Obama friends (and trust me, I have very few) even when I didn't want to, so now it's time for them to listen to me a little bit and try to be courteous even if they don't agree. I know, I know, it's very difficult for you republicans to understand what courteous means, but I'm sure with a little practice you can figure it out.

First I'd like to just take a minute to congratulate Barack Obama for the well-deserved win. I genuinely believe he has the right intentions for this country and I feel so proud to be an American for literally the first time in almost a decade, if not ever.

Okay, now for the fun part.

I've read from numerous people that they are extremely disappointed in the election results. It's fine to support McCain, but are you doing it because you truly believe in his abilities, or just because you always vote republican? I'm really sorry to have to say this, but just about every conservative I know votes for the republican candidate no matter how ridiculous and stupid they are. Like George W. Bush for example. Second to lowest disapproval rating in the presidential history. Just a hair above Richard Nixon. That is absolutely heartbreaking to think we let this man drive the country into the ground in the last eight years. And you know he did it, too. He didn't do shit to make this country a better place. I think a lot of you voted republican because you're too scared or stubborn to actually read up on the candidates, watch their debates, follow EACH one's campaign and make an informed decision. You guys are some of the most stubborn people ever, and you know you are. Keep in mind I know not every republican is like this, but I'm talking to the ones that are.

Everyone, regardless of party affiliation, if they can't sit here and tell me they thought the Republican party wasn't fucked up they are lying. Has anyone been actually listening to McCain and Palin? The campaign has been so negative, so focused on everything but the country that I couldn't even consider voting for them. Every time I heard McCain talk it was just to say what Obama was doing wrong and how we shouldn't vote for him. He shouldn't even have went there, he should have talked about what he was going to be doing instead of wasting everyone's time. It's fine to bring it up a little, but not constantly for months. Everyone knows Palin was picked for political purposes, too. He could have seriously chosen a better running mate, and everyone knows it. It's not the fact she has no experience, it's the fact she would have been terrible for the job. She did not belong in the White House. I've already stated my reasons in earlier posts as to why. I'll send anyone my reasons if they want to do this in private. But no one can sit here and tell me she was not a female Alaskan version of George Bush, not one person. If you do, you've been in dreamworld for the last half a year and I feel sorry for you that all you do is see red and you don't give a damn what anyone is like, as long as they are Republican. Deny it all you want though. You know you are the way you are on the inside. You can debate with us all you please, but we see through all of that crap.

I just cannot believe how ignorant some of you are being. Is this 1950? I can't believe these racist republican conservatives still exist in this day and age. Get your religion out of politics, because there is no room for it. Some of you don't want the best for our country, you are just concerned about this country's people getting a little too liberal. Well, it's 2008 and shit is changing around here. We need a more liberal way of thinking. I am far more accepting than a lot of the republican friends I have, and it's been true time and time again. I can't believe the amount of racist propaganda floating around. Obama is a terrorist? Oh, is he? He is of black and caucassian decent. And even if he had a little bit of middle eastern blood in him, that does not make him a terrorist. It doesn't matter. He is an American, was born here, was raised here. Jesus was from the middle east, was he a terrorist? Didn't think so. Just because there are some radical terrorist groups from the middle east does not lump them all into the category of "terrorist" by any means. You need to quit putting your foot in your mouth and stop saying that shit, because it's not true at all. If you actually did your homework on both candidates like you're supposed to before an election, you'd realize how insane your statements are right now.

I also want to point out how incredibly rude the republicans were being last night at the Mccain rally. He was trying to congratulate Obama on his win and talk about how nice of a guy he was, and all you dumbasses were doing was booing his name. Really? Quit being so disrespectful. At the Obama rally, we cheered when we heard McCain's name. Because we respect people. Even though I don't share the same beliefs as McCain and I didn't vote for him, I'm still not going to boo at him, nor am I going to sit here and make up lies about him. He gave Obama a race to the White House and I respect any man who can take their loss in stride and not sit and cry about it. He was a good sport about things, as was Palin with all the SNL jokes. I appreciated the fact she could make fun of herself, and actually gained a little respect for her when she appeared on the show. That's what people need to start doing. Not taking themselves too seriously. Respecting people, no matter what. Why is this country so filled with negativity?

The disrespect for people needs to end now. We have been separating this country into blue and red for far too long. Whatever happened to being American? Coming together as one to be a proud nation? I know this country has so much potential to be selfless and good, but we just can't seem to get there. Times need to change. We need to start being great people again, like in the start of the country. We don't need to worry about what candidate is against gay marriage or which one funds abortions. We need someone in the White House who just wants the best for everyone here, no matter what your party affiliation is. Obama is that person.

So, for all of you who think Obama was a bad choice, we'll show you why you are wrong in the next four years. Be proud to be an American right now. We've come a very long way having a black man holding the highest cabinet position in the United States. Even if you don't share his values (and that's okay, you are entitled to your own religious and political beliefs, yet another reason why this country is so great) be proud anyway. Screw the parties right now, just be American. Be optimistic that this country will get on the right track now. Help fix it instead of bitching about your candidate not winning. Just because the election is over doesn't mean you need to give up. We still have a lot more to do. This was only a small hurdle. We've still got a long way to go with a lot more obstacles up ahead. The sooner you realize this, the better. We need to be united as one, fix the economy, fix global warming, fix ourselves. Be better, hardworking, honest, loyal and selfless people. All of us, regardless of who you are. The walls need to come down now, it's time. We can all fix our countries problems if we all ban together. Because if it's only one thing we can agree on, it's that we're in a bad place right now and it's our job to fix it. The President just helps only a little bit. It's the people, not the people in government that really matter. We matter, the American people. Let's show the world we can be caring and giving and intelligent. If we are going to be the self-proclaimed "greatest country in the world", we need to start acting the part. Every single one of us needs to do their part to make this country a better place.

Congratulations Barack Obama. I have total faith you will be a wonderful president, because I think you are a wonderful man. Now let's get to fixing the United States of America, stat.

DO THE RIGHT THING AMERICA.

I'm pretty terrified of liking him, because he is the most difficult person to read that I've ever met. Sometimes I think there may be something, but I think it's me wishing there was. It's okay if he doesn't, I just don't want to get involved with someone who is going to drag me along with no real intentions of being with me. He may not be doing that, but I'm just being cautious. You never know with anyone, regardless of how well you know them.

I do like him though. He's so attractive and has a good sense of humor about things. I could see myself if nothing else dating him for a while. Maybe not having a full fledged relationship, but definitely enjoying his company.

I don't know. Maybe it's just not the right time for me to be with anyone, which is okay. But I don't want to fully put my heart into this if nothing is there. One terrible heartbreak is enough for one year I think.