Party tonight at Alan's, it was a lot of fun. I missed Lindsey, and my other friends. I never feel better than when I'm surrounded by all of the people I know and love. Some people were hard to read tonight, as always. I wonder if this is going to continue forever. Someone also stole my phone, which is mind-boggling to me. It's seriously such a piece of shit I don't even know why anyone would want it. It has all my numbers in it though, which is a pain in the ass because now I'll have to attain everyone's and then proceed to program them in. So tomorrow I'm going to get a new one and I'll need everyone's numbers. Not that anyone reads this but a select few, I'm just talking here.

I was reading old conversations from people I've saved over the last two years. God, I can't believe it's been two years. It doesn't feel like it should be. I never feel 20, and I never believe it's 2008. I feel like I'm so much different from when I dated Johnny, and I am. I'm more mature. I think if our relationship had started now without all of the complicated shit on both ends (which incidentally ruined everything for us) we would have worked. But the odds were against us, without a doubt. And it honestly really sucks it had to end the way it did, and it sucks the way it is now. I just can't continue caring about this anymore. It's too painful, too emotionally draining and a waste of my time.

And this new person I'm interested in, the first person I've been truly interested in since I've somewhat emerged from this horrible train wreck of a breakup, is so complicated and hard to read, I don't even know what to do with that. I know I need to do something though, and soon. Before the year is over, no doubt.

andwithxthisgun (4:45:01 AM): are you at home now
drwilymd2 (4:45:17 AM): yeah
drwilymd2 (4:45:21 AM): poutin
andwithxthisgun (4:45:26 AM): hahaha LIKEWISE
andwithxthisgun (4:45:29 AM): goddamn life sux