would there be things i'd change from my past? yes. hell yes. but the fact of the matter is, i can't go back and undo those things. all i can do is look toward the future and not dwell. forgive those who've wronged me, forget those who are no longer in my life, and hope that other forgive me for the wrong steps i've taken in life. it's really all you can do. you can't spend your life dwelling on the past for whatever reason you are, whether it was a great or terrible past. it's done, it's over. you can remember it or spend your life trying to forget. but one thing is certain: the future is all you've got right now in this moment. why not make it the one you've always wanted? don't worry about the things you can't control, forget them and move on. if you don't, they will consume you with sadness and regret, and you don't need that kind of negativity festering. i've realized in life that one of the most rewarding things is letting something go. in every sense of the word. forgetting a terrible past, letting a person go who has decided to not be a part of your life anymore, and accepting the good things that probably won't ever be again. sure, all of this creates intricate webs in your life and sometimes things that have happened to you shape who you are. i understand this. but why let something terrible shape who you are as a person? life sucks for everyone, don't think you're the only one going through it. for every time you feel really shitty, i guarantee someone is feeling the exact same, or even worse than you. the universal human experience is pain i think. everyone experiences it differently, and everyone is affected by it differently. you just need to choose which kind of person you're going to be; the kind that lets the negativity consume your day to day life forever, or the person who keeps the past in the past and realizes people make mistakes. mistakes on your end or someone else's. everyone does things for their own reasons and sometimes they don't intentionally try to hurt you but try to heal from other things themselves. if anyone can sit here and say that they've never fucked up, they're a damn liar. everyone has, and everyone will.

so let shit go. don't dwell on the past. instead of wasting your time wishing things were different, make things better for yourself. heal relationships or heal yourself, but don't waste the little time you have on this earth with regrets, grudges, or anything like that. you've always got time to make things better for yourself no matter what. even if you aren't as happy as maybe you would have been before, you can still find some sort of inner peace and accept what's happened, learn from it, and don't ever make the same mistake again. we can all just hope that whatever happens, it's happening for a better reason. you just need to hold on and wait for that better reason to come along.